YND 11: Big Money

After weeks of solidly sensible stanza, will our hosts rise to the bait and write a silly one? The answer is: No. No. Yes. To find out what that means, you’ll just have to listen.


BEN

The Best Deal

I got the Best Deal
And three TVs in my room
I like to use the the phone
But no one seems to be home

I got the Best Deal but
Doing nothing I’d have more
These white trash are just like me
But they’re poor

I got the Best Deal
But that bum has more than me
8 billion dollars more
And he sleeps there for free

I got the Best Deal but
They won’t let me lock the door
I leave things as I want them
But they clean them off the floor

My wife has her own room
So I can be alone
With Mcdonalds for dinner
In my empty white home


MATT

Big Money

You’re always unbearable when I’m not in the mood
And vice versa
And in fact, of course — everything is,
I’m being idiotic.
Moods are stupid.

A rapid list of what’s wrong
what’s not happening
All coinciding at the same instance:
right now.

"Just get over it," I think
“Have a bath, and get over it”
I help with the main thing,
Then I say “Have a bath”
And walk away, downstairs
Back to my book.

As I begin to read,
My mind is distracted
That in fifty years I hope I’ll get to say:
"Let me be devoted, a little while longer
Yours is the only love
I've ever truly wanted”

I stop.
Because I’ll never know when it’ll all end
I should go and say that to you now.


CHARLIE

Big Money

I got a big pot o’ honey
They call me big money
I’m a storage hunter
With all them other munters
But no one knows the real me
They just go off a what they see
Big money, big funny, big dummy

Got a pot full of fam, pot full of friends
They’ll be there till the endz
My pots full of life, pots full of strife
Pots full of love from above and beyond
The millis don’t make me nor will they take me
Big money just ain’t me


And given that Matt requested Trump translation of Ben’s piece, here’s the the first line in Trump speak:

This is a very good looking group of people here. Could I just go around so I know who the hell I'm talking to... I got the best deal. My hands can hit a golf ball 285 yards.

(Courtesy of http://www.donaldtrumptranslator.com/)

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